Surrender
by stardust2002
Summary: A KaraLeoben story.  Mentions of KaraLee and KaraSam.  Spoilers for everything aired to date. Leoben: ' How can I mindfrak thee, let me count the ways.'  Graphic sex.


**Surrender**

_xxxxxxx_

His touch was like the soft breath of the wind, whispering across her arm. It raised goosebumps every time, though whether from desire or revulsion she really couldn't decide.

At this point it was moot anyway - desire, revulsion, lust, disgust - they all rolled into one as yet again he took her and forced her to admit truths that were so abhorrent that she could barely stand thinking them for even a second without her stomach turning.

"Kara, look at me."

His voice was like verbal silk. It stirred desires in her that she didn't want to even imagine ... _couldn't _admit to, for how was she to fight the enemy _keep fighting them till we can't_ when she couldn't even distinguish who the enemy was?_ You know exactly who the enemy is Kara Thrace, it's you._

Her eyes opened, willingly yet unwillingly to see his intense face. His_ it's_ was a face that could never be considered jovial even in happiness_ Could they even feel happiness?_ but in this, his earnest desire that she should surrender everything to him, he was more intense than anyone she'd known.

It was frightening. _And exciting. _

"This has all happened before and it will all happen again. Surrender yourself to your destiny Kara, and this will be the last time it's played out. Surrender and we will finally be able to rest in each other's arms where we've always belonged."

His words caressed her as seductively as loving fingers. His hands _it's hands,_ likely metal or some sort of alloy underneath, were soft and gentle, sending shivers up and down her spine.

She remained mute as he undressed her, though the silence was not one of two people intimately acquainted and comfortable together. It was one of tacit protest. Arguing had been her first recourse when she'd learned what it was he wanted from her. Then out and out fighting. All that had done was add to the scars, visible and invisible.

The fear she'd had as a child of knowing she wasn't going to like what was coming but knowing it would only be worse if she fought it was something she'd managed to push to the back of her heart and mind by always being in control of everything in her life. No one gave her orders. No one told her what to do. No one made love to her - she frakked them, always keeping the upper hand so the fear would stay blessedly locked away.

This man_ machine_ before her was slowly stripping that all away. Her only defense now was to give in. She could keep the upper hand only by submitting willingly and letting him do whatever he wanted to her. It wasn't like she had to _feel _anything, it was just sex ...

His hands began to roam, caressing her softly yet firmly while he placed small butterfly kisses on her eyes and forehead.

"This is good Kara, it's right," he murmured between pecks. "God meant for us to be together like this."

_It's only sex, it's only sex, it's only sex ..._

But it was never _just_ sex for her. Sex swallowed her up like a living being - those she shared it with assumed it was just a light, fun experience ... a way to pass the time, but for her sex was a connection that ran so much deeper than just the physical union ...

"No it isn't Kara." _ Bastard!_ It was as if he could read her mind. "It's never_ just_ sex with you." He plunged a hand deep down into the 'v' where her legs joined and sunk two fingers inside her, no longer soft and gentle but pumping hard.

"Sex is a defense mechanism for you, an instrument with which you avoid using words. Are you afraid of words Kara? Are you afraid of what they can do? They can wound, they can heal, they can inspire, they can cut down ... " He leaned close, licking the tip of her ear as he continued. "They can even _kill_."

She opened her mouth but only a small whimper came out. _Frak!_ She wanted to use those very _words_ he was so fond of and kill the bastard one more time (seeing as how he'd removed any and all possible weapons) but her body was betraying her mind ... again. All that came out was a pathetic whimper.

"See? And it doesn't even have to be words for me to know exactly what you're thinking and feeling right now. You want this - your mind is stubborn and is telling you it's wrong but your body wants it so badly." He licked around her ear, flicking gently with his tongue as her body arched up into his hand, driving his fingers in deeper.

She whimpered again, this time in an agony of desire. Flames were licking at her, starting at her hot, throbbing centre and spreading all the way to the tips of her limbs, gaining intensity with each drag of oxygen she took, like a forest fire out of control.

"How badly do you want it Kara?" he whispered. "Do you want it enough to beg?"

"Please" she whispered, body a frenzied mass of need, though whether a need for him to stop torturing her or to finish what he'd started and allow her satisfaction wasn't clear ...

"Please" she whispered again, though it was more a groan of pure desire than an articulated word.

He made her see stars.

No one else had his touch - steel encased by velvety warmth. His fingers pulled at the spot inside, the one that reduced her world to nothing but pure sensation, while he whispered hypnotizing words in her ear.

She was putty in his hands. Her mind said _no, don't surrender to him this time,_ but her body would do anything. This truly was a gift from the gods, the agony and ecstasy a double-edged thing as all of the god's gifts were.

"This is what we were made for Kara," he said, pulling back and looking her deep in the eyes.

Blue ... so very blue. His face blurred in her passion-saturated mind and for a moment he was Lee, smiling down on her as his eyes begged for her love. Then he was Sam, smiling eyes asking, not demanding, for her devotion. She blinked and reality came crashing back. The eyes belonged to Leoben and he wasn't just asking for her heart or devotion, he wanted nothing less than her soul. Her mind, her body, her spirit. The past, present and future. He demanded everything and took it, forcing her to give willingly.

Every time it was the same.

"You can't give it to them can you?" he whispered, shedding the last of his clothes hurriedly and crawling between her legs. His eyes held hers like a vice grip. "Lee wants your heart. Wants more than anything to know you love him. But the _words_ weren't enough were they Kara? He still didn't believe you."

He began to thrust in and out, smiling evilly as her pupils began to dilate. "Sam wants your devotion. Wants to know that you chose him, that he's the only one. But the marriage vows, even the tattoo," he danced his fingers lightly along the darkly etched wing on her arm, causing her to shudder and clench her inner muscles. His eyes closed as they rolled back in his head. His smile was deceptively serene. " ... weren't enough. He knows that even though you love him, he'll never be the _only_ one." He leaned in close, nose touching nose. "He knows he'll never be _first _... how can he be when you belong to me?"

"Uh ... uh ..." She was incoherent. It was as though something between her brain and mouth had short-circuited. She knew what she wanted to say but nothing was coming out. Perhaps her brain had been disconnected from everything - her limbs weren't obeying the order to push him off her and fight either.

She began to pant, want eclipsing everything.

"Deep in your heart you know you're mine." He thrust deep and hard but slowly, oh so slowly, drawing out her desire till her body was like a finely tuned piano wire, just begging to be played. "That's why you've never truly committed yourself to anyone. Yes you got engaged to your first love and you thought you were committing yourself to him forever but you were young and foolish and didn't truly understand the depths of your destiny yet." He stopped moving, drawing a whimper of protest from her. Her mouth was a small 'o', pink tongue just touching the edges of her lips like a baby bird waiting for it's mother to drop in the nourishment that would keep it alive.

"But you do now don't you Kara? You understand that your destiny isn't just to suffer." He began thrusting anew, one hand cupping her face hard. Red fingermarks would be left behind.

As always.

"It's for_ them _to suffer."

She shuddered in twin horror - at the pure vileness in his possessive sneer and at the fact that she was powerless against him. It had been that way right from the beginning, he'd had her rooted to the spot, physically, emotionally and even spiritually from nearly the moment he'd taken her captive.

Her orgasm finally came and she stiffened and threw her head back into the pillow, trying not to cry out in pleasure. She failed, also as always, and a long drawn out "ohhh" left her lips.

"None of them can have you. You're mine Kara. It is your destiny to destroy every man you love because you are defying god's plan in not taking me willingly."

He worked her harder and harder, pushing into her as deeply as he could. "Turn your back on them Kara," he said, breath starting to become ragged. "Leave them and they can live."

He panted and his eyes began to roll back into his head as pleasure neared it's climax. "Give in to your destiny. Be mine Kara." He squeezed her face hard causing her to grimace in pain. "Let them go and be mine. We can be one if you let it happen. Surrender Kara, _surrender_ to me."

She groaned in pleasure, pain and frustration as her body resisted her mind yet again. She was almost at climax again, the last having never quite ended.

He was pushing her now, her body at it's limits. His thrusts were hard and fierce and his member within her felt like white-hot steel, marking her from the inside out. A tattoo, no less agonizing in it's possessiveness than the one she'd gotten on her arm.

"We can be one Kara, do it!" His voice was shaking - he wasn't going to last more than a few seconds.

"Surrender to me Kara! _Surrender_!" He pushed in deep enough to impale her to the bed as he carved the markings with his own body's liquid fire, slicing off yet another portion of her soul.

"Yesssss!" she cried out in ecstasy, pleasure, pain, shame and emptiness all merging into one as her body accepted his gift of ownership and willingly returned it with a gift of her own.

Time passed as they lay together, still, silent.

xxxxxxxx

The sun rose and set in the heavens and the moon made it's pale, watery appearance, blighting the perfection of the darkness.

"You feel it don't you Kara?" _Yes._

She didn't reply. Barely dared to breathe.

"You're a changed person."

She blinked, eyes staring unseeingly at the ceiling.

He was right. She _was_ a changed person. This time had been different. Each time he'd forced her to give him a portion of her soul she'd felt less and less human and more like one of them. She'd surrendered her body but her mind had stayed firm in it's belief that he was wrong.

She was _not _destined to be a breeder for a mad, sex-crazed machine that had somehow fixated it's attentions on her.

She was_ not _destined to destroy every man she loved.

But the facts bore him out. Zak was dead, Lee had nearly died at her own hand (not to mention his emotional death from what she'd done to him). Leoben was right, words _could_ kill. Sam's words 'hey guess what? we got married' had killed Lee inside as surely as a dagger through the heart would have done, leaving him a torn, bloody wreck. Sam was dead too, he just hadn't realized it yet. One day when he figured out Kara loved Lee more than him it would hit him like an arrow through the back. Betrayal was the one thing she knew would hurt him the most and it was what she'd served him from day one.

Leoben was right, she _was_ destined to destroy every man she loved. If she ever managed to escape this madness that was now her life, she'd have to find a way to stay away from them both - before they were destroyed beyond salvation.

"I can let you go Kara. Do you want to go?" he offered quietly at the end of her internal discussion, as though he'd been a tacit audience.

She turned her head and her glassy eyes focused in on his face, pupils dilating as reality, here and now, took shape again.

"You've accepted your destiny Kara. I know you will come back to me. You are free to go."

He sat up but her arm reached out with snake-like speed and fury and grabbed his wrist, digging her fingers into his flesh.

Like a bird captive in a gilded cage, she longed for freedom but her mind, keen and sharp as always, knew fulfilling her destiny was going to take more strength and willpower than she had.

Some things she'd just never been able to resist.

Some things defied destiny.

"No."

_ fin _


End file.
